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Monday, 06 July 2009

Monday, 19 January 2009

  • please make it stop

    there is not a day, a minute, not a god damned second that i dont think about you. you are in everything i do, you are everywhere i go and you are every thought i think. without you in my life, somehow, i feel empty. i see people everyday, people that love each other, fighting like they have all the time in the world. and of course we feel this way, we feel, when we're with the person we love, that we have forever, all the time in the world, but we dont. we dont have all the time in the world, things happen. love dies. people meet other people and that time that we thought we had dissapears. so take advantage of the time you have lovers. girls, memorize his face, the way he looks at you, the way his voice sounds, the feel of his skin on yours. memorize the feelings, your love and his combined because honestly, there is nothing like it in the whole entire world. and guys, listen to her laugh, think about her all the time and make sure she knows you love her. because you can never tell her enough. dont throw away something as great as what you may have.

    justyn... i wish you knew how much you mean to me. i wish you could see the effect you have had on my life. i wish you could just be the person you were with me. the real person you were. you are an amazing person, you have a way of calming people down in unlikely situations. and girls melt in your hands. but im asking you, begging you, please dont make anyone else fall in love with you if all youre going to do is shatter their world in the end. because no one, no one in the whole entire world deserves to feel the way i feel.

    by the way. i know im pathetic, but this is how i feel, still, after all this time, after everything youve done. and i know im nothing special and that i was just another girl to you but please, just listen to me, for once in your life. just please...

Wednesday, 31 December 2008

  • 2009

    i dont like new years eve. im trying so strenuously to go back in time, not forward, so naturally, im a little upset. on top of that i went to go see justyn recently, not the best decision i guess... its whatever.

    new years resulusions:
    quit being so fat
    change my hair color/style at least 50 times before 2010
    pass my shophman year
    win taconic idol
    win berkshire idol
    get a car
    get a job
    get laid:)

    well i guess ther'ye more like goals then resolutions but whatever.

Thursday, 25 December 2008

  • last christmas

    once upon a time
    it was christmas. cold and white. there were presents and songs and food and joy. everything she could have asked for. and then she saw him. and her world stopped. on a day filled with family and cheer she was haunted by his voice. his touch. and the memories returned. returned to the empty house at the top of the street. that one summer that had changed her life. and now there was nothing she could do about it. she was confused. enraged. afraid. and yet. she enjoyed it. the memories. the laughs. the sight of him. it comforted her on a day so cold.

    but she missed him. so terribly. he had changed. become something she could not recognized. but she still saw the old him. in a picture on the wall. from two years ago. the year they had met. she gazed at it. dove into it. a broken dream. she was so young. so stupid. she could have saved it. she could still have it.

    a tear slides down her face. she was so hurt. so hurt.

    and now she sits alone. thinking. writing. sentences that make sense only to her. but she is alright with this. the fact that no one really knows. knows that he is still with her.

    the only way to tell is to look. look deep in her eyes and you see it. the memory of a heart so broken. a love trashed. a new dream being born.

    fin.

Thursday, 18 December 2008

  • everyone left me... or was it me who left everyone?

    "don't tell me if I'm dyin'
    cuz' i don't wanna know
    if i can't see the sun then maybe i should go
    don't wake me cuz' I'm dreamin'
    of angels on the moon
    where everyone you know
    never leaves too soon."

         I lost everything. everyone and everything i ever thought i needed. i was gunna sit here and name all of the people i've lost recently but i decided i don't have that much time or energy. all i can say is that it started with justyn and hasn't stopped yet. I mean, i think the only people i have left are my best friend ever, brianna, my second best friend dylan, my third best friend mikey sears, my sisters dani and stef because even though i don't talk to them a lot n e more, i know the second i need them, they'll be there. uhm, who else? a bunch of people that i barely talk to and barely know me? i think the people it hurt most to have lost was brian, ashlyn, natalie, dom and justyn. in that order. i just want to go back, all the way back. i would do everything over again. every single thing! i would make my life all that it's supposed to be. but im not magic and i cant time travel...so im fucked:[

caseex8

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    • Member Since: 5/1/2008

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